Kids and Teens Self Esteem

Self Esteem is an inherent part of being born. Children are born with healthy self esteem! Have you ever heard a toddler say "no, go ahead, take this toy. I don't deserve it?" Of course not! Kids know their value and they have no problem claiming their personal power. So what happens between the toddler age and the age of seven or eight when a lot of kids start feeling the decline of self esteem? 

The answer is two-fold. But they both tie into education. First, as a parent, your number one responsibility is to your child. That means protecting your child and your child's self esteem first. Do you know that the amount of self esteem your child has, has a direct and REAL impact on your child's future? I am not exaggerating at all. 
     When you envision your child's future, of course you envision something grandiose. But if your child lacks self esteem, dreams will be in vain. Your child will feel too weak to accomplish any of his dreams or take any risks. Life is all about taking calculated risks. That's where the fun and excitement comes in. Child with low self esteem feel bad inside! And once that low self esteem takes a foothold, it is self perpetuating. Your child continually repeats negative messages to himself throughout his life. So it is your responsibility as a caring, loving adult guide to uproot any negative feeling your child has concerning himself and help impart good healthy self esteem. We'll talk more about how to do this in a moment). 

    Secondly, the public school environment creates fragile self esteem. It does so because your child is forced is live up to a false standard of success. Materialism is strongly planted in the system as well as unhealthy competition. I do not believe that the archaic system of education is suited for tomorrow's generation. We all want a better future for our child. We want our children to thrive, be creative, have high self esteem, and grow up into amazing, successful adults. The educational system in this country will mold and shape those who quietly obey the system and do not oppose the system. All the other child will be medicated or hate school and barely get by. They end up hating the system and rebelling because they are intelligent enough to realize that there is no value or meaning in the antiquated system.   

 If you want to raise your child's self esteem - you must do a few things. 

1. Start using positive affirmations with your child. You can find some good ones here.

2. Connect deeply with your child / teen.  Turn off the electronics and play, read together, draw, learning something new together - engage your child; take time with your child to truly and deeply connect. Your child JUST wants to feel important to you (and it starts with YOU). When you slow down and give your full attention to your child, your child learns that he is truly very important to you and his self esteem increases 100 fold.

3. Rethink the educational system. If your child is in a public school environment, start thinking out of the box. Your child comes first, period. In the current educational system, your child is not coming first. This is a detriment not only to your child's future but to your entire family life, balance and happiness. There is much happening the school day that you may not be aware of. Make sure to talk openly with your children every day about the day's events, and learn what programming is going on and how to "de-program" negative thoughts and negative thinking.  

4. Listen to your child. Stop thinking that adults always have the answers. We don't! But that's not to say that kids have the answers either. When you are fully present with your child and really listen, your child learns that what he thinks and feels matters. Self esteem is a natural outcome of good parenting habits, like fully listening with awareness.

5. Rethink your own cultural upbringing. We are always taught to think of things as right and wrong, black and white. Duality is the nature of our reality. We often see things as right and wrong, but the underlying purpose of this categorizing everything is because our spirit naturally wants to feel good. Making "good choices" usually leads to happiness. Being untruthful is wrong because it ultimately brings pain. Many of us have inherited a sense of guilt and shame. We are "bad" when we make bad choices.... it must be so, our parents said so. This erodes our self esteem. We must start questioning the root of this guilt and shame and ask ourselves if it's productive for soul growth. It's time to let go of this guilt and shame and step up. We must not tell our kids THEY are bad when they make bad choices. They have made a bad choice, period.